evaluation sheet

i have completed the evaluation sheet

EXTRA CREDIT: G20 SUMMIT

The G20 summit is a meeting between the top 20 economies in the world taking about the worlds international financial system. Twice a year these countries come together and twice a year there are major protest/riots happening. What caught my eye is what happened on September 24th and 25th in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. On Monday November 16th, I attended a conference where 5 people introduced what actually happened in Pittsburgh during this years G20 summit. I was shocked to hear and to actually see what happened in videos that were on the Internet. How can the UNITED STATES government actually let that happened. The most shocking this to me was what happened at the University of Pittsburgh. On this night, Police/ SWAT team used combat like tactics to stop the protesting that was happening on the streets of the University. Not only were those who were protesting hurt, but those not associated with anything were. The use of tear gas was used to stop the protesting, but the most shocking thing was that the police used the LRAD sonic gun. This sonic gun, which has only been used in the IRAQ WAR, is a very high pitch sound that hurts you physically. It was shocking to see that the police had to use tactics used only for the war in Iraq on United States soil to hurt United states citizens. What was also shocking is that all this protest is allowed under our constitution, and the police have no right to stop us. Our free speech was taken away, and people were placed in jail for no reason. The police did not even give the students/ civilians a change to stop and go home/dorm rooms. They blocked them from every corner not letting them go anywhere. This years G20 summit opened my eyes, and its going to be interesting if the government to do anything about what happened in Pittsburgh.

work cited

WORK CITED:

1) "Teen Car Accidents. Teenage Car Crashes." caraccident.com. 2008. Web. 25 Oct 2009. .

2) "Cell Phones + Teen Drivers = Danger?." Current Events 107.5 (2007): 7. Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 25 OCT. 2009.

3) "Senate Bill 33 - The Teen Driver Cell Phone Ban." DrivingLaws.org. July 2008. Web. 25 Oct 2009. .

4) "National Teen Driving Statistics." RMIIA. 28 FEB 2007. Rocky Mountain Insurance Information Association, Web. 25 Oct 2009. .

5) Larry, Copeland "Distractions challenge teen drivers." USA Today n.d.: Academic Search Complete. EBSCO. Web. 25 Oct. 2009.

NEW POST: TEEN DRIVING

Laws for teenage driving should be stricter to decrease the leading cause of teenage death. By getting their license at a young age, teenage drivers (ages 15- 19) do not fully understand the responsibility of driving and are therefore reckless drivers. They commit unlawful actions like text messaging, talking on the phone, speeding, not wearing a seat belt, and driving under the influence, while putting both their lives and lives of others in danger. However, laws already exist to prevent these types of actions, like “The Teen Driver Cell Phone Ban” in California {3}, but they are not strongly enforced and the punishment is a small fine. This needs to change, the laws need to be strongly enforced and the punishment for anyone caught committing an offense should be more severe. With stricter laws in place for teenage driving, more teenage lives and lives of others would be saved.


Driving is a privilege for teenagers, and sometimes that privilege can be fatal. "Car fatalities result in 36% of teenage deaths. That’s more than 5,000 teen deaths a year, and roughly 400,000 are severely injured {1}." How can the United States government let this happen? If states just created stricter laws for teenage drivers, all these statistics would decrease. States can increase the penalties and fines of all the illegal actions teenage drivers commit. For examples, if you are caught text messaging or talking on the phone, you should get a fine of $500 and get your license suspended for one month. If you are driving under the influence, you should be given a fine of $2,500 and get your license revoked for 12 months. If you are speeding, you should be given a fine of $250 and depending on how fast you are going your license should be taken away. For every 5 mph you are over, your license should be suspended an extra month. With these laws in place, it would put a sense of fear in teenage drivers and they will stop performing illegal actions.


Many believe that strict laws already exist, and if they didn’t help before, how would it help this time? Even if states create stricter laws, it should be for all drivers not just for teens. Adults break the laws just like teens do and if the laws are changed, then they should be equal. A lot of people complain that teens are inexperience drivers that are just reckless. But, how can they be experience drivers with all these laws preventing them to drive. It shouldn't be the governments job to create stricter laws, it should the parents creating stricter rules. Also, teens are already careful drivers since their car insurance is really high, they don't want to risk making it higher. With all these laws being created it will just put fear in teen drivers, which would just make them worse drivers. Grace H., a teen for Louisville stated “If you want to put a ban on something that distracts people from driving, you might as well ban everything that could be considered a distraction like [passengers] or food. {2}” On the other hand, stricter laws are just necessary for teens because "teenage drivers are 4 times more likely to get in a car accident then all other drivers {1}."


Speeding plays a major factor in teenage fatalities. In a survey that conducted 1,000 teens, "69% said that they speed to keep up with traffic and 64% say they speed to run a yellow light {4}." That just proves that teens make reckless decisions, which increase the percentage of getting into an accident. There is no reason to speed. you get to the same place 5 to 10 minutes later with out speeding. Is that a reason to risk your life or lives of others? Teenage drivers also drink and drive, which is the worse thing anyone can do. In a survey done by "US TODAY, 50% of teenager say they see other teens drink and drive.{5}" If your going to drink, even though it's illegal to drink under the age of 21, get a taxi or call a friend to to pick you up. Know how your going to get home before you start drinking, don't believe that a beer or two has no affect.



Recently, the cell phone has increased the cause of teenage fatalities. "Seventeen states, including Washington D.C. have passed a bill banning and restricting the use of the cell phone for teenage drivers 18 and under {2}." Governor Schwarzenegger from California was quoted saying “The simple fact is that teenage drivers are more easily distracted. {2}” In a study of teenage driving, "when a teen uses their cell phone 53.8% of the time they cross the line on the road.{2}" Kelly R., a teen driver of Reno, Nev., said texting is a big distraction, “I actually tried it once while driving and got honked at because my head was looking practically at my feet. {2}” The cell phone is a teens best friend, but while you drive put it aside. One second makes a big difference, and the cell phone just acts as a big distraction.


With stricter laws in place for teen drivers, the number of teen fatalities would decrease. With harsh fines and stricter penalties, a sense of fear would be placed in the minds of teenage drivers that would prevent them from committing unlawful actions. Teens need to be taught a lesson, and unless they experience consequences for their actions they will never learn.

essay draft: TEEN DRIVING

Laws for teenage driving should be stricter to decrease the leading cause of teenage death. By getting their license at a young age, teenage drivers (ages 15- 19) do not fully understand the responsibility of driving and are therefore reckless drivers. They commit unlawful actions like text messaging, talking on the phone, speeding, not wearing a seat belt, and driving under the influence, while putting both their lives and lives of others in danger. However, laws already exist to prevent these types of actions, like “The Teen Driver Cell Phone Ban” in California, but they are not strongly enforced and the punishment is a small fine. This needs to change, the laws need to be strongly enforced and the punishment for anyone caught committing an offense should be more severe. With stricter laws in place for teenage driving, more teenage lives and lives of others would be saved.

Driving is a privilege for teenagers, and sometimes that privilege can be fatal. Car fatalities result in 36% of teenage deaths. That’s more than 5,000 teen deaths a year, and roughly 400,000 are severely injured (Car-accidents.com). Out of all car crashes, 12.9% are by drivers ages 16- 20 (rmiia.org). How can the United States government let this happen? If states just created stricter laws for teenage drivers, all these statistics would decrease. States can increase the penalties and fines of all the illegal actions teenage drivers commit. For examples, if you are caught text messaging or talking on the phone, you should get a fine of $500 and get your license suspended for one month. If you are driving under the influence, you should be given a fine of $2,500 and get your license revoked for 12 months. If you are speeding, you should be given a fine of $250 and depending on how fast you are going your license should be taken away. For every 5 mph you are over, your license should be suspended an extra month. With these laws in place, it would put a sense of fear in teenage drivers and they will stop performing illegal actions.

Many believe that strict laws already exist, and they didn’t help before, how would it help this time. Even if states create stricter laws, it should be for all drivers not just for teens. Adults break the laws just like teens do and if the laws are changed, then they should be equal. A lot of people complain that teens are inexperience drivers that are just reckless. But, how can they be experience drivers with all these laws are preventing them to drive. With all these laws being created it will just put fear in teen drivers, which would just make them worse drivers. Grace H., a teen for Louisville stated “If you want to put a ban on something that distracts people from driving, you might as well ban everything that could be considered a distraction like [passengers] or food.” On the other hand, stricter laws are just necessary for teens because teenage drivers are 4 times more likely to get in a car accident then all other drivers (car-accidents.com).

Speeding plays a major factor of teenage fatalities. In a survey that conducted 1,000 teens, 69% said that they speed to keep up with traffic and 64% say they speed to run a yellow light (rmiia.org). That just proves that teens make reckless decisions, which increase the percentage of getting into an accident. They also drink and drive, which is the worse thing anyone can do. In a survey done by US TODAY, 50% of teenager say they see other teens drink and drive, which results in 23% of all teenage automobile deaths (car-accidents.com). Recently, the cell phone has increased the cause of teenage fatalities. Seventeen states, including Washington D.C. have passed a bill banning and restricting the use of the cell phone for teenage drivers 18 and under (“cell phone+ teen driver= danger?”). Governor Schwarzenegger from California was quoted saying “The simple fact is that teenage drivers are more easily distracted.” In a study of teenage driving, when a teen uses their cell phone 53.8% of the time they cross the line on the road. Kelly R., a teen driver of Reno, Nev., said texting is a big distraction, “I actually tried it once while driving and got honked at because my head was looking practically at my feet.”

With stricter laws in place for teen drivers, the number of teen fatalities would decrease. With harsh fines and stricter penalties, a sense of fear would be placed in the minds of teenage drivers that would prevent them from committing unlawful actions. Teens need to be taught a lesson, and unless they experience consequences for their actions they will never learn.

THESIS STATEMENT DRAFT #3

1. http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=3&hid=111&sid=73650a7c-18be-4690-b713-317f1baf2cf2%40sessionmgr104&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=44677029#db=a9h&AN=44677029
2. http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=4&hid=105&sid=73650a7c-18be-4690-b713-317f1baf2cf2%40sessionmgr104&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=J0E374946123409
3. http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=5&hid=105&sid=73650a7c-18be-4690-b713-317f1baf2cf2%40sessionmgr104&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=J0E127571833509

New thesis paragraph:

Laws for teenage driving should be stricter to decrease the leading cause of teenage death. By getting their license at a young age, teenage drivers do not fully understand the responsibility of driving and are therefore reckless drivers. They commit unlawful actions like text messaging, talking on the phone, speeding, and driving under the influence, while putting both their lives and lives of others in danger. Coincidentally, laws already exist to prevent these types of actions, like “The Teen Driver Cell Phone Ban” in California, but they are not strongly enforced and the punishment is a small fine. This needs to change, the laws need to be strongly enforced and the punishment for anyone caught committing an offense should be more severe. If you are caught text messaging or talking on the phone, you should get a fine of $500 and get your license suspended for one month. If you are driving under the influence, you should be given a fine of $2,500 and get your license revoked for 12 months. If you are speeding, you should be given a fine of $750 and depending on how fast you are going your license should be taken away. For every 5 mph you are over, your license should be suspended an extra month. With stricter laws in place for teenage driving, more teenage lives and lives of others would be saved.

Old thesis paragraph:

Laws for teenage driver should be stricter to decrease the leading cause of teenage death. By getting their license at a young age, teenage drivers do not fully understand the responsibility of driving and are therefore reckless drivers. They commit unlawful actions, like text messaging, talking on the phone, speeding, and even driving under the influence, while driving and put their lives and lives of others in danger. In some states, like the State of California, laws already exist to prevent these types of action, but they are not strongly enforced or the punishment is a small fine. This needs to change, the laws need to be strongly enforced and the punishment for anyone caught committing an offense should be more severe. If you are caught using your cell phone to text message or to talk to someone, you should get a fine of $500 and get your license suspended for one month. If you are driving under the influence, you should be given a fine of $1500 and get your license suspended for 12 months. If you are speeding, you should be given a fine of $750 and depending on how fast you are going your license should be suspended. Ever 5 mph you are over, you license should be suspended an extra month. With stricter laws in place for teenage driving more teenage lives and lives of others would be saved.

NEW LITERACY

REVISED:
In the article “Clive Thompson on the New Literacy”, Thompson writes about how technology has an big impact on our writing. I agree with Andrea Lunsford, a Professor at Stanford University, who believes “technology isn't killing our ability to write, it's reviving it.” With the internet, people in today’s world write more often than before. With social networking websites like Facebook and chats online, it has allowed people to communicate with text then in earlier generations. In today’s world, professor Lunsford realized that when students write for an audience it “gives them a different sense of what constitutes good writing.” With a class assignment, students consider the professor not to be an audience therefore; they are “less enthusiastic about their in-class writing.” With the internet reviving the way we write, “Knowing who you're writing for and why you're writing might be the most crucial factor of all.”

As a teen in today's world it is true that technology is the new literacy of today's world. Everyday, its seems that everything i do has to do with some form or technology. Basically, technology rules the world. I believe that if there was not this much technology not that many people will write. Technology gives you the opportunity to read and especially write more. If its a text message, a blog response, or a chat response you are still creating some form of writing. It may seem that old traditional reading are becoming extinct like the newspaper, but with new technology people would be able to access the same newspaper on the internet or on the go with their cell phones. to me, new technology is the best way.
Question:
1. Is this article any different than the other articles we have read?
2. Do you agree that “technology isn't killing our ability to write, it's reviving it” or is it actually killing our ability to write.
3. Is the internet to really blame for the change in writing?


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OLD:

In the article “Clive Thompson on the New Literacy”, Thompson writes about how technology has an impact on our writing. I agree with Andrea Lunsford, a Professor at Stanford University, who believes “technology isn't killing our ability to write, it's reviving it.” With the internet, people in today’s world write more often than before. With social networking websites like Facebook and chats online, it has allowed people to communicate with text then in earlier generations. In today’s world, professor Lunsford realized that when students write for an audience it “gives them a different sense of what constitutes good writing.” With a class assignment, students consider the professor not to be an audience therefore; they are “less enthusiastic about their in-class writing.” With the internet reviving the way we write, “Knowing who you're writing for and why you're writing might be the most crucial factor of all.”
Question:
1. Is this article any different than the other articles we have read?
2. Do you agree that “technology isn't killing our ability to write, it's reviving it” or is it actually killing our ability to write.
3. Is the internet to really blame for the change in writing?

"online, r u realling reading?"

· revised:

The article “Online, R U Really Reading?” by Motoko Rich, Rich explains that in today’s world more kids are reading off the internet then from a book. He begins his article saying some believe the internet is to blame for the decline of student scores on reading tests. With the transformation of the new media, Rich mentions that “the internet has created a new way of reading, a way that can not be tested.” Rich mentions that “According to federal statistics, students who say they read for fun once a day score significantly higher on reading tests than those who say they never do.” The point is kids don’t read for fun, they believe it is a waste of their time. “According to Department of Education data cited in the report, just over a fifth of 17-year-olds said they read almost every day for fun in 2004,” but, this does not include online reading. The internet “can be more enriching than reading one book.” A book can take days to read but with the internet you can “cover a lot more of the topic from different points of view.”

·

· To answer the question “Online, R U Really Reading?” I would have to say yes, you are reading. The internet and a book are two different types of reading. A book would go through a lot of details and the internet goes straight to the point but, you are still reading. To be honest, if it wasn’t for the internet I would not be engaged with reading. I hate to read book I believe it is a waste of time but, with the internet it doesn’t fell like I am reading. The information is just given, I don’t have to go through details I don’t care about, and I just get the information I need.

I believe that the internet is a good form of reading. Technology these days is the easiest most convenient way to read. With the way technology is going, you would be able to read an entire newspaper on your cell phone. Recently, the Kindle has come out, which is a type of technology that allows you to read any book on a small screen, which you can bring on the go. It is true that the reading on the internet might be easier or not written correctly, but that is the way our generation is. The way we learned and with technology it is making our lives more convenient.

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old:

The article “Online, R U Really Reading?” by Motoko Rich, Rich explains that in today’s world more kids are reading off the internet then from a book. He begins his article saying some believe the internet is to blame for the decline of student scores on reading tests. With the transformation of the new media, Rich mentions that “the internet has created a new way of reading, a way that can not be tested.” Rich mentions that “According to federal statistics, students who say they read for fun once a day score significantly higher on reading tests than those who say they never do.” The point is kids don’t read for fun, they believe it is a waste of their time. “According to Department of Education data cited in the report, just over a fifth of 17-year-olds said they read almost every day for fun in 2004,” but, this does not include online reading. The internet “can be more enriching than reading one book.” A book can take days to read but with the internet you can “cover a lot more of the topic from different points of view.”

·

· To answer the question “Online, R U Really Reading?” I would have to say yes, you are reading. The internet and a book are two different types of reading. A book would go through a lot of details and the internet goes straight to the point but, you are still reading. To be honest, if it wasn’t for the internet I would not be engaged with reading. I hate to read book I believe it is a waste of time but, with the internet it doesn’t fell like I am reading. The information is just given, I don’t have to go through details I don’t care about, and I just get the information I need.

New Media and the Slow Death of the Written Word

In the article “New Media and the Slow Death of the Written Word”, by Mark Zeliner is arguing that “we can no longer depend on words alone to carry our messages to the new technically sophisticated audiences of the twenty-first century.” He begins his article mentioning how much he loves everything about the newspaper and how much younger people don’t. Zeliner tries to convince his students that the good old newspaper is nothing like the “new media” that a “Computer screens are hard on the eyes” and “you couldn't fold a computer screen up and carry it in your book bag.” When he realized that no students were convinced he began to realize that the “new media” is the new way. He became excited on all the possibilities of the “new media.” Like the ability to “use hypertext links to break down the traditional narrative styles”, with this ability there would be new types of storytelling.
Other critics, like Neil Postman and Sven Birkert, believe that the “new media” is destroying the traditional style of the “old media”. Zeliner points out that the “new-media opens an untold number of new methods of reaching and communicating with an audience.” With the “new media”, journalists have the ability to grab the attention of his audience by inserting audio and video, which shows the tone of the journalist. He relates to the “old media” by saying that the “the new-media is not truly a "new" media. It is a compilation of many aspects of all the old traditional mediums.”
He then introduces ten- rules to learn on how to write in the “new media”. This rule “serve as a guide for beginning new-media writers and producers.” Rule one was “keep it tight, short paragraphs, simple active sentences, treat every word as a rare and valuable jewel.” I agree with this rule because you want to keep it straight forward, you don’t want your reader to read nonsense stuff that has nothing to do with the topic. Also, as a reader I wouldn’t want to read a long article, I like to keep it short and basic. Rule two was “break your text into appropriate "chunks" for reading, be aware of content when deciding between click or scroll.” This rule was basically trying to keep your reader interested as they go on reading. If you make them scroll down or click somewhere to keep on reading, slowly they will lose interest, I know I would. I don’t think this should be a rule since you have rule one. In rule one, if you have to keep everything tight and short, then why would you need to make the reader scroll or click to keep on going.
He then goes on with rule three which is “think in modules, preplan possible paths for your reader, insure that important information is difficult or impossible to miss.” This rule is somewhat important since your don’t want your reader to look all over the place looking for what they want. The important information should be in the middle of the article since many people just skim, they know where it the information is. Rule four goes on to say “use images to convey messages that you cannot convey with words, don't just scatter images around as window dressing, use thumbnails linked to higher-resolution images.” This rule is very important, since images say a lot more then words. An example of this rule, instead of writing about how the war in Afghanistan is going, a picture would show the audience more. With rule five he say “use audio clips judiciously, don't distract your reader but use clips to add to their experience.” This rule is not as important as some of them, unless you are trying to get a point across from what an important person, like the president, has said. You can also manipulate this rule and use it as an advantage for viewers to look at your page. If you play cool music on your page, viewers would explore your page to see what it is about.
In rule six, Zeliner says “use desktop video sparingly, use primarily to convey a mood or present a person's style or demeanor--not for content.” I don’t agree with this rule, I believe that you should use video all the time, if it has something to do with the topic. With a video, you can show the tone and mood in the person in the video and more information is put across through a video. In rule seven, he goes on and says to “link all footnotes, create your own definition and description pages, don’t hyperlink off your document.” I disagree with this rule; there is no point on making another page for the reader to go to just to get a definition. I would replace this rule, and make a rule on no tough words to jumble up your reader, use words of every day life.
For rule eight and nine, I believe that there is no put for these rules. In rule eight, he says “use hyperlinks off your document sparingly, gather your related links in the appendix of your document.” The only thing this rule does is take the reader away from the article and they are most likely not to return. Rule nine mentions to “use sidebars for supplemental information or narratives make it easy for the reader to return to the main document.” This rule would pretty much do the same thing as rule eight and drag the reader away from the article and they are most likely not to return to the same page. The last rule, rule ten is somewhat important, he says “think about form and how it works with your content, don't distract but add to the mood and meaning of what you are writing.” This rule is comparing the author to a producer. You have to think about the form of your article, you don’t want to make it too flashy but not to plan if you want to be good in the “new media.”

Mark Zeliner believes that these ten rules would allow you to write in the “new media.” I believe that some of the rules are important but, some are just nonsense. To write in the “new media” you have to make it simple and straight up. Place audio, video and image, because the audience loves entertainment. I would rather watch a video on the article then actually read it. I would also add another rule, to make your article colorful. Every article is usually the standard font with the color black. If you make it different color and different font, the words would stand out more.