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New thesis paragraph:
Laws for teenage driving should be stricter to decrease the leading cause of teenage death. By getting their license at a young age, teenage drivers do not fully understand the responsibility of driving and are therefore reckless drivers. They commit unlawful actions like text messaging, talking on the phone, speeding, and driving under the influence, while putting both their lives and lives of others in danger. Coincidentally, laws already exist to prevent these types of actions, like “The Teen Driver Cell Phone Ban” in California, but they are not strongly enforced and the punishment is a small fine. This needs to change, the laws need to be strongly enforced and the punishment for anyone caught committing an offense should be more severe. If you are caught text messaging or talking on the phone, you should get a fine of $500 and get your license suspended for one month. If you are driving under the influence, you should be given a fine of $2,500 and get your license revoked for 12 months. If you are speeding, you should be given a fine of $750 and depending on how fast you are going your license should be taken away. For every 5 mph you are over, your license should be suspended an extra month. With stricter laws in place for teenage driving, more teenage lives and lives of others would be saved.
Old thesis paragraph:
Laws for teenage driver should be stricter to decrease the leading cause of teenage death. By getting their license at a young age, teenage drivers do not fully understand the responsibility of driving and are therefore reckless drivers. They commit unlawful actions, like text messaging, talking on the phone, speeding, and even driving under the influence, while driving and put their lives and lives of others in danger. In some states, like the State of California, laws already exist to prevent these types of action, but they are not strongly enforced or the punishment is a small fine. This needs to change, the laws need to be strongly enforced and the punishment for anyone caught committing an offense should be more severe. If you are caught using your cell phone to text message or to talk to someone, you should get a fine of $500 and get your license suspended for one month. If you are driving under the influence, you should be given a fine of $1500 and get your license suspended for 12 months. If you are speeding, you should be given a fine of $750 and depending on how fast you are going your license should be suspended. Ever 5 mph you are over, you license should be suspended an extra month. With stricter laws in place for teenage driving more teenage lives and lives of others would be saved.

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